I Mainly Date Women But Donât Call Me A Lesbian
Miss to happy
I Primarily Date Females But Please Don’t Know Me As A Lesbian
We generally speaking cannot proclaim my sex immediately upon fulfilling new-people, but i am aware it is going to most likely arise at some time if we come to be friends. I usually simply declare that i’ve a girlfriend and then leave it at that, but that leads people to
believe I’m a lesbian
, which bothers the hell regarding myself because we never ever said I became and I’d never pick that tag for my self.
I had passionate feelings for people who aren’t ladies.
While I presently merely select ladies appealing and only need time women, I’ve
discovered guys attractive in past times
. Are I intimately attracted to them? Not on the majority of days, but passionate and sexual feelings you shouldn’t constantly get hand-in-hand. Throughout my personal young people, I’ve crushed on numerous boys and girls, but after dating some men and doing a bit of soul-searching, I’ve found
I prefer females
. That nonetheless does not remove my personal last, and sex tends to be liquid. Maybe I’m not drawn to males today, but i may subordinate situations or I might not. I simply should not get fastened straight down because of the details of a “lesbian” mark.
Not all women who have relationships/sex together with other ladies are lesbians.
While I don’t like getting known as a lesbian, I
fairly solely into women. However women aren’t.
Some women can be bisexual
âsurprise!âor pansexual or just never value sex after all. With the term “lesbian” to describe any lady that is currently with an other woman is frequently incorrect. When an expression is commonly incorrect more often than not, Really don’t will use it.
I am not through the Island of Lesbos
. For people who don’t know, there’s a real invest Greece called the isle of Lesbos and folks actually reside here. “Lesbian” makes reference to folks or circumstances from that island. The term “lesbian” in an effort to refer to gay females only came about as a result of Sappho, just who famously blogged really love poetry about females. (area note: she also wrote poetry about loving men too, however she actually is the best logo of being a “lesbian.” Bisexual erasure a lot?) Anyway, individuals from the Island of Lesbos really do not like people
phoning homosexual women “lesbians
.” There is a little homophobia their campaigning up against the phrase, however you still have to acknowledge it’s very stupid to mention to all gay ladies as “from this option Greek Island.” You will also discover far more homosexual women than those who are now living in Lesbos, making this particularly vexing in my experience.
Gay and queer tend to be fun terms.
I really do love saying the word “queer” and describing me as “gay AF.” Queer can also be an example of reclaiming a term from homophobes, which can be always awesome. It literally implies a thing thatis just some unusual, which will be excellent for me, and gay merely means pleased. Why wouldn’t I would like to end up being gay? We should all be very happy. Easily need certainly to select a label, I’m going to point out that
I am homosexual
. Esteem the delighted.
I do not suit the lesbian label.
We start thinking about myself personally a part of the LGBTQ+ community, and neat thing concerning area usually everybody from every walk of life needs to be welcome provided they may be recognizing. But when i believe of being a “lesbian,” I feel like there is this mythical neighborhood of these that Really don’t quite match. Most this really is fairly old school, but right now there are a lot of expected “must haves” for lesbians, as you need to be intense, wear flannel, and listen to Tegan and Sara. I actually do none of the circumstances. Since “lesbian” as a term seems fairly stereotyping in range, personally i think like basically make use of it, i need to
comply with stereotypes
â¦ and that I do not.
I am not femme cherche femme or butch.
In addition to not conforming to lesbian stereotypes, I also cannot feel just like we get into a category. Lots of people who identify as lesbians reference on their own as “butch” or “femme.” Truly, I feel this beats the purpose. I am not homosexual therefore I can imitate a heterosexual pair but to every their own. Nevertheless, I am not really extremely masculine or overly elegant. I love to put on dresses, but I
seldom put on makeup
or jewellery. My personal hair is very long but often i enjoy put on men’s room clothes. I defy these classes, which feels as though defying becoming a lesbian overall.
My sex does not define myself.
My main beef utilizing the term “lesbian” is when you determine as you, you need to say “i am
lesbian.” Any time you state you’re homosexual, you can easily say “I’m homosexual.” Linguistics are essential in my experience because language reflects personal principles. When individuals use the term “gay,” it is a descriptor. When individuals use the phrase “lesbian,” it is an identifier. Getting homosexual is part of my identification, but it’s hardly all i will be. It is simply one aspect, very do not cook myself right down to simply “a lesbian.”
I do not wanna omit non-binary or asexual folks.
Becoming a lesbian seems to have a firm definition: a lady who’s intimately attracted to various other females. Exactly what in case you are a lady with someone who’s non-binary? They aren’t a woman, even when they aren’t men, therefore the phase “lesbian” feels inaccurate. And
if you’re asexual, you still have romantic emotions
, and maybe you may have intimate thoughts for another girl. Can a “lesbian” not be intimately interested in females? No matter if you ask me when someone’s ace, non-binary, trans, or what they determine as, but by using the phase “lesbian” to explain my self is like then i need certainly to exclude those who lack a “standard” sex or gender.
I am not porn.
Lesbian is really a common key phrase in porn.
That you do not hear people speaking about “gay porno” that means women sex. This is because “gay porn” is aimed at homosexual men and features men making love with one another. But “lesbian porn,” which includes females making love together, is aimed at right men. Because i understand this, personally i think fetishized each time I’m labeled as a lesbian, even when that is not the goal. I recently are unable to divorce the fetishization of queer ladies through the phrase. Additionally, it reminds me of most forms of crappy situations in culture and just how typically homosexual folks are fetishized, very do not know me as a lesbian.
Emma is a twenty-something publisher residing in North Carolina. She really loves cute things, gay situations, being right about circumstances. She is additionally a touch of a nerd.